I decided to reedit  my first film after watching it together with Miko and Vince.

This film was shot in 2006, the first summer vocation of my collage hood. It took me about a week to shot it and almost a year to edit it, of course, during that year I spent too much time wandering in Hangzhou city.

I got the idea to film this short as early as I was in high school. It is a true story happened on my friends and me, of course some part is fictional. It is not until the first year of my university did I met my partners Chenyang and Yawen. We deicided each of us was going to make a short, we need to share equipment and had to help each other. So, Chenyang was one of the camera men in my film, but later we just got too much fight because our ideas were so different, and i decided to shot it by myself. For me, I helped Yawen found an apartment for her short and also acted in her film. That summer, in order to collect money for my first short, I taught 6 kids English for 20 mornings, and earned 3000 RMB (about 450 C$). My mom helped me a lot in this short. She found me the old house near the sea, drove us to the seaside, cocked for us, entertained my actors by playing Mahjong with them and also acted two characters in my film.

For a long time after I finished it, however, I did’t want to watch it, and I just shared it with a few of my very closed friends, because I thought this was such a bad film. I hated my sound effect, in some parts I ignored the light, and people’s faces are too dark, also, I never check the balance of my tripod, I even didn’t know what was white balance nor focus.

Years later, I became a film major student, beginning to work on films with other friends. I wrote detailed sub lens before shooting and adjusted focus, shutter speed and aperture; I envy all those fancy equipment, shooting and editing techniques, and I try to make up a lot of fancy stories, so that I can use these fancy technical methods on it.

That day, at Vince’s place, after we spent two days to shoot 1.5 films, I decided to show them my debut. It turned out they like it, and interestingly, I found I didn’t hate it any more, but I love it! I dare not make a 20-minute film nowadays. And I suddenly realized, are those things, the equipment, the filming and editing technique I am pursueing now important to film making? And did I or we,  ignored the most treasured part to a good film– to tell a story devoutly from the bottom of your heart with patience?

I like my first film. And again, my actors, my friends, thank you so much! I still feel so moved when I watching you guys in this film, even 4 years has past.

请我坚信：是我的总归会是我的。无需强求也不要努力，他会自己历经千山万水来到你的身边。得到之后，请尽力珍惜。如果他跑了，那就不要追了，若是你的，总还是会回来的。

请我珍惜眼前的一切，我的家人，我的朋友，曾经爱过我的人，和我爱过的人，属于我的身体以及思绪，因为每一个人，每一样物件都会随时随刻离你而去，有些时候是半个地球的距离，有些时候是阴阳两界，有些时候则是那一句熟悉的，你坐在我对面，可是看上去却那样遥远。

永远只做自己喜欢做的事，喜欢自己喜欢的人，过自己喜欢的生活。只要于自己来说是对的，那么，于他人来说是错的，那又何干。

请放弃一些莫名其妙的，不坚定的爱意。做一个正直的人。若要伤心，那也要避免拖沓、冗长。要谈恋爱，那就要严肃一些，学术一些，长久一些。

请不要对每一个人都说对不起。为什么要和他说对不起，为什么要和他说对不起，为什么要和他，他，他，他还有他说对不起。

请为了养活自己，赚一些钱。

Suddenly, I feel I don’t know how to write in Chinese any more. Is it because there’s nothing can be written in Chinese? There’s no rain during the spring in Can… 加拿大的春天没有如棉的细雨，English is too reasonable and too hard, when I am writing in English, 敲击键盘的力度也是要如一块块石子坠落到水泥地上一般。How can you feel the softness of the spring rain while it misting on your face? Mist? yes, that is what I feel. but, I’m I correct grammatically? May be you will say, when you are walking in the spring rain, you can feel your face is covered by cream. Do you know what I mean by Spring rain? People from st. catharines may not know. People from Vancouver knows, I guess. Have you ever tried walking in the mist of the Niagara Falls? That is spring rain. However, softer, warmer, humider, mistier, creamier the spring rain is. Humider? what is that? I can’t use “more humid” instead of “humider”. Can English be more flexible like Chinese, and allows me to use humider. Can I admit that “and”, and make it one sentence.

I learnt some new words. For example, realm means 领域。It is a useful word, but just so wired. It is a “real” + an “m”. It’s wired. “Wired” is also a new word I learnt recently. Now I can say, oh, that’s wired instead of oh, that’s strange, though I usually don’t use that word. Up to now nothing is very wired to me, most of the things are interesting. I’m serious.

Again, why I don’t write in Chinese. Chinese is a kind of language for people in love. It doesn’t have serious grammar. It doesn’t have does, do, did done, it just has “做”。And sometimes you put different words in the front of the sentence, so people can understand it as 做es, 做ing，做ed。We make the sentence wordy and longer, make the rhythm with light and slow beat, make the key high but soft, like an extremely thin line. Why should I say extremely thin? can’t I say a thin thin line, just as 细细的线。细细的，长长的，软软的，or just like my name, Xiaoxiao, how lovely. Sometimes, we won’t tell you any clue of time in the sentence. We just say he 做 or she 做。So, how can you know it is 做ing, 做es, or做ed– by guess… just like the words between livers… it makes you feel on the cloud, just like the lovers…

Oh, still, why, Why I can’t write in Chinese recently… Chinese is for recording love… for example, I will say, 或许我应该寻觅一些关于爱情的踪迹。我是否应该接受一些爱情，是否应该⋯⋯ yes, so, how do you say 寻觅 in English, this action contains a special duration and special emotion, and, and even the suspension points in Chinese is two times longer than it is in English…

By the way, I spellED weird in a wrong way…

现在，我每周的schedule大致如此。周日一觉睡到大中午，然后起床去上拉丁课。话说，拉丁课上，所有的姑娘都拉了自己的男伴，只剩下可粘的我和矮矮胖胖老老的拉丁舞教练为伴，还要时不时被拎出来做反面教材，of course, in a very polite way.

周一周二基本上没课，我就狂看三篇文章，然后激情澎湃地完成周三要交的读书报告。

周二中午seminar结束之后我就会匆匆赶去音乐厅听演奏会。一般45分钟，最让我喜欢的部分其实是众人鼓掌恳求encore的部分。

周三晚上看一场brock在pen的电影院放的电影。前段时间，有24hr film festival, 下个礼拜他们在电影院放学生的作品。哎⋯⋯其实我也好想参加这个event啊。。。只可惜。。。只可惜，谁叫我是一个人生地不熟的外国人。。。

周四呢就瑜珈。

周五上一整天课。

周六打扫房间。

周末有时候如果有人找的话会去party一下下。但这样的机会微乎其微。。。

其余的时间，我基本上都在无聊发呆45度角仰望天空打发时间。

OK，目前为止，我的生活是不是文艺且健康到有些罪孽的感觉。。。

Rudolf Arheim thinks film should be regarded as “an art of form only”. In order to get his point of view through, first and for most, Rudolf Arnheim pointed out the raw material of film should be the unreal aspects rather than the representation of the reality, the view which most of people believing film should not be regarded as a form of art hold.

As a Gestalt psychologist, Rudolf Arnheim considers the film should be viewed in a “whole” way instead of a “part” way. And the “whole” can be controlled and manipulated by filmmakers. As photography, the shots of films are taken from the reality. However, film is not just a random combination of the chaos. By deciding the frame, editing, adjusting the light, building the way of story-telling, etc., the artists are the creators of film. Especially, in the film, the artists should deal with the time and space, which is beyond the reality. What’s more, in the terms of dealing with the limitation of technology, the artists are doing a creative job to make the spectators sense the smell, feeling of touch and people’s emotions, which the techniques can not achieve nowadays.

Regarding the film as a kind of medium, Rudolf Arnheim thinks film has the nature of “creative” by focusing on “artistic effects” and “limitation”: “Film artists are aware of the images they create and they exploit these limitations, forcing the spectator to see not just the object in the screen but the object carefully delimited via the medium.” Beside the technical limitation, film art is also trying to over come the limitation of the real world. By using artistic effects, such as fast and slow motion, fades, backward motion, etc., in the film, artists can make the time pass by either slower of faster, make the existing objects disappear or even make time goes back ward. All these effects are controlled and manipulated by artists, further, they can only be done by artists. besides, Rudolf Arnheim has a very interesting view of the development of the technology. To him, the purity of an art form is very important, and the out coming of the sound may ruin this kind of purity, for it causes the de-emphasizing on the aesthetic of images.

As for the form of the film, Rudolf Arnheim holds the view that “artistic effects” should be seen as a kind of tool, just like colors to painting, words to poetry. Filmmakers learn how to use these methods in order to make their idea be expressed in a proper and workable way.

After figuring out the raw material of film art is not just the representation of the real world, Rudolf Arnheim then tries to explain the relationship between art, artist and the reality. With the knowledge of Gestalt psychology, Rudolf Arnheim explains the relationship of the three aspects in a very scientific and systematical way. Eventually, he draws the conclusion that the purpose of art work is to express both the idea of artist and the world. The original Gestalt is as interesting as those some of the ideas of ancient Greek philosophy or some part of Zen thought. However, as film students, it is less important for us to know the details about it.

All in all, Rudolf Arnheim built his film theory in a psychological way. He tries to figure out the raw material of film as well as the relationship between art and the nature and insistent on film should be a form of art only.