Don’t Step on the Bow (2007)

Again, Maomao, Huahua, Linxiao, thank you so much! And Jianjian, and Chengcheng, I love you guys forever.

Several weeks ago, I was really pissed off by talking with Mark through Internet, for every time he would say, “I miss you”, “I believe we’ll see each other again”, “why you are so far away from me” and the damed “That’s fate”!

That morning, When I just got up, even hadn’t brush my teeth, and he was at his mother’s house in England for a Christmas break, I deleted all his name from FB, MSN and Skype. I told him I was really tired of these strengthless words, please don’t talk to me unless you can figure out when we two can have a face to face talk.

Some days ago, a friend told me he was into me before. I said, me, too. Then, I asked, but why, why we both knew we liked each other and I ended up in your good friend’s bed?– “Oh, it’s fate.” ,I answered myself with his sentence which I used to hate so much before.

It’s fate? Sometimes, things look so beautiful, just because it is so far away beyond your control. The distance can be from the east side of he planet to the west of it, or, it is about right person, right place but wrong time.

Can we do something about it? Actually, I can pack up during the winter holiday and either fly to England or Thailand to visit Mark. Mark can also earn some money by teaching English or whatever in Thailand and then appeared in a bright morning right at my door to give me a romantic surprise kiss. And for the other guy, we can just ignore the boy I dated before.

But, but again, WHY? Why none of us would do that for each other? Just in order to keep this kind of love affair out of reach so that it can be beautiful and perfect for ever? And then, tell each other in an upset tone the universal truth  – it’s fate, meaning: “WE ARE JUST NOT THAT INTO EACH OTHER”?

这是一场秘密的预谋，

Why?

You told me you love me＋you are popular with the girls＋you have got a good job+you are good at sport – I think you are rude – I don’t like the way you behaving in sex – you only concentrate on yourself – we have different culture – I like you little – … = I decide to break up with you

How?

• Avoid abruptness
• Find a good reason:

1. 1. I don’t like the way you eating? NO!
   2. I don’t like the condom you using? NO! NO!
   3. I don’t like black guy? NO! NO! NO!
   4. I don’t like your smell? NO! NO! NO! NO!
   5. Tell him you are really a good guy, I don’t think I’m good enough for you. There are a lot of better girls around you, and I know they like you? NNNNNNOOOOOOOO! Never be bull shit!
   6. Calm down… calm down… offend him… make he himself say please break up with me… seems like a good idea… but… how to offend him, when will he be offended… that’s the big question…

• Best solution:

1. 1. Run towards him, tell him in clear English, I hate you, I want to break up with you… that’s it. byebye…
   2. Or… tell him you don’t need a girl friend, the only thing you need is a blow-up sex doll with a tape recorder playing “you are excellent” everyday to satisfy your libido and the vanity.

When?

• After your exam period
• After your next dating
• Make sure you get all your stuff back from his house
• Treat him in a cold way for several days

To make you a more professional break upper:

• Make yourself invisible of him for several days after breaking up
• It’s not only a lose for him, but also for you, you may lose some friends, too. Prepare for it.
• He is a man, strong and brave, I don’t think you are going to comfort him, that’s ridiculous!

P.S.

I really want to use excel and quantitative analyses… but… I’m not that professional…

最近，我在做两件事。

穿一双漂亮却不合脚的鞋。

和一个我并不爱的优秀的男人恋爱。

我坚持穿那一双漂亮的鞋，是因为我想信总有一天，她会变得柔软，然后舒适，接下来因为我那么爱她，她也无私地爱上了我。

可我为什么要和A在一起。一想到要和他做爱，我就会觉得有一点点恶心。可我为什么要和他在一起，因为他说爱我，因为我觉得他将有所成就。因为我丧失了一些道德，放弃了一些原则。还有，就如你们所看到的，我的文字能力，一天一天地在消退。。。

记得当时年纪小，你爱谈天我爱笑。

看到这句话，你有没有想起你的初恋，或者某ex男友，某ex女友，某exex男友，某exex女友，总之，你有没有想起有关曾经的爱情的某些细节，某些支离破碎的纯洁，某些一去不复返的青葱岁月。

妈妈是不是想起了爸爸，外婆是不是想起了外公，周瑜是不是想起了小乔，现如今禽兽般的李志是不是也同样想起了当年青涩的阿兰，我是不是想起了你……