Xiaoxiao Yan

age: 23= 0
height:160+weight: 56kg=0
cup: 34C= +10
big eyes+dimples+nice face shape+nice hair= +20
bad skin condition= -10
always have nice and innocent smile= +15
always laugh aloud without manner= 0
likes french new wave and Japanese New Wave cinema+likes Leonard Cohen+seldom watch Korean Episode + don’t read love novels= -20
likes philosophy+likes showing off in front of men= -20
care about her looking= +20
go to dancing class+go to yugo class=+20
can very easily have a crush on someone= +15
likes discussing social issues in a high and excited voice just like a man= 0
falls in love easily= 0
bad in bed= -20
hate giving a blow job= -20
always trust a man= -20
will call a man in love with while haven’t received his call for a while= -20
Aris sign= -10
sometimes has crazy and impulsing thought and will tell the guy in love with= 0
likes editing a film more than acting= -10
likes writing blog and expose all those private to public=-10
has no idea of marriage=0
never save money=0
IQ>120+but never knows how to use it in a relationship= -10
a kind of knows how to dress= +15
wants to control everything+always think herself is cleverer than a guy=-20
has overwhelming strong sense of moral= -10

conclusion: rating for Xiaoxiao Yan= -145

It is damned sunny today and, I finished my first job in Brock Tv. I love being a volunteer there, staying with cameras, editing tools, and people who really love movies, arts or music, and treat them seriously.

After this, I went to Prof Nebesio’s office. I like the way he telling a story, slowly, slowly… with the sunshine through the big window of his office, a big glass of tea at the side of his desk and a pit of a pear near it. We talked about… about… and about…

And now, I need to begin my reading report about Andre Bazin, which is due to tomorrow morning, and also which I still haven’t started yet… And… and beside me, those silly lady bugs are sliding down from the blinds one by one, again and again…

BrockTV – 24HR Film Festival 2010

First Work Done by Me at Brock TV

11 January 2010, on the first day I became a film major student, my favorite director died…

好吧，写完这篇博客我就睡觉。

刚才给姗姗打了电话。我决定，不管怎样，我都要调整我的生活，回到从前的生活状态。

从现在起，我会认识更多的朋友。我喜欢电影，我喜欢哲学。凭什么我到加拿大之后就不能沉下心来啃一本书或者看一部电影。我没有必要转专业，谁说我念商科我就不能文艺。

趁早跳出MBA的圈子吧。

找些义工做吧。。。为什么我喜欢剪片子却偏偏以为自己学业太紧而拒绝这分工作。

Andy算个P！坚决不再和自己本来不喜欢的人谈恋爱。

妈的，尼亚加啦大瀑布离你那么近你凭什么不去！

想旅行就去旅行吧。蒙特立而似乎真的不错。现在就去查车次和旅社。

妈的，你本来就不是一个爱学习的人，装个什么B啊！

好了，写完了！爽了！

还有呀。。。你也老大不小了，生病就生病吗，别老咿咿呀呀的。。。

你本来就不是一个柔弱的人，装什么柔弱。你本来也不是美女，求求你不要再误以为自己是美女了！

我已经很久没有这样静静地坐下来想一些事情，写一些东西了。这一切对于现在的我来说太奢侈。

我和珊珊说，现在的我不再如从前一样关心你我的命运以及自己无法预知的一切。不再关心抬头时的云舒云卷。

丁阳前段时间生了个女儿，我给她寄了张明信片。可我忘了她的名字。

生活一天又一天的重复着，我不再如刚来到这里的时候一样兴奋，不再如一个月前那样常常让自己在此处与彼处游离，没日没夜地站在门外看“Shao’s Quarry View”，这是Jake说的。Shao是我在这里的名字。

Jake是我的印度同学，戴一副眼镜，是长的最帅最文气的印度同学，说话轻声细语，常常微笑。他和Andy一起住。有一天晚上，我们坐在门口的台阶上抽了两支烟，聊了很久的天。

晚上。两个人。坐在台阶上。抽烟。聊天。

我喜欢这样，如果有酒的话，那会更好一些。我有时会想念在国内的时候和我的那些狐朋狗友一起度过的操蛋时光，有时会想念⋯⋯想念什么？抱歉，在这里，我无力运用排比句，除了想念那些美好的操蛋的时光，我毫无牵挂。

前段时间在公车上遇到一个在哲学系读研究生的同学。他后来写了很长的一封信给我。前天的时候，我们通了将近两个小时的电话，聊各种各样有趣的话题。昨天晚上他有打电话给我，可是我没有接到。

我似乎已经见到了本该属于我的生活，即使这样的见到只是一种寮望。